Is it Ok to Not be Ok? (Podcast Episode Transcript)
Welcome to "Confessions of an Entrepreneur's Spirit", the podcast where we explore the highs and lows of entrepreneurship and share valuable insights to help you on your own business journey. I'm your host Raeann, and today's episode is a little different than most that I have done. And I am recording it earlier in the season than I planned, but it seemed fitting.
Being a business owner can be trying. Especially if you are not where you want to be in your business. I had hoped by now that my businesses would be funding our lives and our main source of income. But because of my inconsistency in promoting myself due to many reasons, which can be explained by many as just excuses, I'm not. And lately, it's been very disheartening and making things harder. Believe me, this episode is not a pity party - but I know I'm not the only one that can feel like this and I want to just share that you are not alone.
Several of you know that in November of 2021 I quit my full-time job because my part-time job offered me a full-time gig and it was going to allow me the freedom of my own schedule so I could not only work full-time but work on my business, my house, whatever was needed. It was great. I was so excited because it seemed my dreams were coming true...and earlier than expected.
In August of 2022, I was pulled into an unexpected virtual meeting and I knew....just knew it wasn't good news. My virtual company was choosing to go in a different direction with their business and as of January 1st, they couldn't offer me full-time anymore. I would be switched back to hourly and there was no guarantee of how many hours I would be working, if it would be consistent, or anything. I thought the world was falling around me. I had finally gotten my dream work environment and this happened? Well, I dug in and started looking for jobs. Along the way, it was decided that I would not have the full-time part earlier than January 1st, so my income started dropping sooner than I expected. But we got by. That's one thing I have to say is we always got by. The money always came in at unexpected times. It took until March 27th to find a job that I thought I would like and felt like I would be doing work that was meaningful, and was enough income. Not what I was looking for, but enough income to keep us afloat with some breathing room. We celebrated by booking a trip to Mexico for 2024. At least this was something for us to look forward to after many disheartening months.
Why did I tell you all of this? Because now, working full time again, I am back to feeling like a failure. I don't feel like I am giving my businesses their fullest attention. When I'm not at work, my attention goes first to my clients (well really my family, but we are talking about work stuff here), then scraping by on my photography and gift shop. And I know - you are going to say well there is your problem Raeann - you are doing too much. I never planned for any of the three to be a full-time job, but a combination of the three because it is where I love to work. These three areas allow me to do what I love best - be creative, help people, and enjoy my work. I get a plan together for social media and then fall flat. I plan on doing the podcast, and then forget to record (which is why I had such a long hiatus in the first place - I just gave up).
And now - I'm just tired. I'm tired of thinking I can do it all. I'm tired of apparently expecting too much of people and then I am bothered when they don't live up to those expectations. I'm tired of feeling like a failure. I know the symptoms of when I get like this - I am unmotivated, I lose touch with people, I have no energy, and everything seems like a chore. That's what I feel like now.
So what am I going to do? I'm going to put on my big girl pants and get back to it. Because that's what I do. The point of all this? We all need to understand we are going to feel like crap as things fail, but we are going to take a moment, reflect, and then try again. For me, that is what writing this episode was about. Reflecting on how I feel, putting it out there no matter what other people are going to think and keep going. If it's a dream I want to achieve, I know I can do it. Because...I got this!
I am going to go back to the drawing board, set my goals, set a plan, and start refreshed. This is why I always tell people when discussing goals - if you don't meet your goal. That is ok. Reevaluate, strategize, and go again!
All in all, the biggest thing I want you to get out of this episode? Two things:
1) It's ok not to be ok. Demi Lovato's song "It's Ok Not to Be Ok" comes to mind when I say that.
When you're high on emotion And you're losing your focus And you feel too exhausted to pray Don't get lost in the moment Or give up when you're closest All you need is somebody to say
It's okay not to be okay It's okay not to be okay When you're down and you feel ashamed It's okay not to be okay
Remember that your feelings are a way for your body, mind, and spirit to tell you that you need to pay attention to yourself! What do you need to do to feel ok? Talk to someone? A retreat? Take a vacation? Take a day and just be creative (that's usually it for me... that or a date night/day with hubby.)
and the second thing is that check in on your friends and small business friends. sometimes they just need a "Hey how you doing?" And let's be honest - this is only helpful if you are asking with the honest intention of listening to the person. You don't need to fix their problems, just be genuine in your desire to listen and let them vent.
Well, there is my soap box, or pity party, or whatever you think this was. I hope one person has understood what I am saying and feels heard. If you get to these moments - reach out, I am here to listen, anytime!
